I just want to share this post, by Jakarta Post
(click here).
The post is all about the feeling being a diplomat spouse and children. The author nails it, as she was a diplomat's spouse herself.
I don't feel the need to add some more. Let her post tell you everything. Enjoy!
Click here for my post on being a diplomat's daughter.
A
helicopter crash on Friday, May 8 in a mountainous area of Pakistan
tragically killed six passengers, including two ambassadors and two
ambassadors’ wives. One of them was Mme. Heri Listyawati Burhan, the
spouse of Indonesian Ambassador to Pakistan Burhan Muhammad.
Some may say that this terrible accident could have happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Nevertheless, the members of diplomatic missions assigned to so-called hardship posts are more likely to deal with such risks.
Only
a few weeks ago our embassy in Yemen was badly damaged by an air strike
injuring two diplomats, other Indonesian citizens and Yemenis.
In
fact, such a threat can happen even in countries that seem far from
being tagged “hardship”. In a period of less than 10 years (2004 and
2012), there were two bomb explosions at Indonesian Embassy in Paris.
The second one took place while we were living there due to my husband’s posting.
Fortunately nobody was seriously injured, but the material losses were quite large and it was certainly a traumatic experience.
An
insightful article titled Appreciating Our Diplomats was written by Mr.
Wirya Adiwena (The Jakarta Post, May 2, 2015) expressing his concerns
on the reality and sad side of diplomats’ work.
As mentioned in
the article, too often this seemingly prestigious profession is
ironically regarded as implying merely “the image of glamour and
champagne”.
In my own experience, people do frequently utter
their presumption of how nice and comfortable it must be to live abroad,
as if comparing it to a long holiday. This stereotype is definitely
misleading and far from reality.
Working as a diplomat, which
means representing your country, is surely not a light responsibility to
bear. Apart from the danger in hardship posts, there exist other
obstacles that may not be lethal yet are quite significant.
I
would like to share these common challenges facing diplomats’ families,
based on personal observation and experience when accompanying my
husband in his two previous postings.
Normally when posted to a
foreign mission, a diplomat is accompanied by his or her family. The
roles of family members are neither insignificant nor limited to
supporting capacities.
Actually, on various occasions diplomats’
family members should act as “diplomats” themselves. Diplomats’ spouses
are required to readily assist in the activities of the mission, from
culinary and cultural diplomacy to national day celebrations.
On
the other hand, they are not allowed to work professionally during the
posting period. Some families must decide whether to live separately or
to sacrifice the career of the spouse.
Diplomats’ children are
also an important part of the equation. Facing different environments
and constantly adapting both in the foreign and home country makes them
the most risk-prone. New homes, schools, friends and languages are
normal things. Once they are about to settle in a place, it is already
time to move and start from scratch again.
Constantly changing
early life stages shapes them to be “third culture kids” (TCK) —
children with the unique experience of moving between cultures before
fully developing their personal and cultural identity.
These
so-called global nomads or cultural chameleons are exposed to typical
experiences, both good and bad. The primary benefits are perhaps their
multilingual skills and the ability to adapt well to new environments,
an expanded world view resulting broader perspectives, as well as higher
sensitivity and empathy.
The main challenges include the ongoing
switch of schools, hence friends. While this constant change can be
beneficial, it is at the same time a potential threat, for each child
has a different level of ability to adjust. Some can survive, some
others sadly cannot.
Furthermore, being in foreign countries
puts them among different sets of cultural values that sometimes can be
conflicting. They are obliged to hold on to their home culture while at
the same time adjusting to local customs.
At the family level,
the unceasing moving process itself is never a piece of cake. Packing,
unpacking, leaving and finding home, changing schools, learning new
languages, meeting new neighbors, driving on the other side of the road,
adjusting to new cultures and so on.
However, difficulties are
well paid off once things finally start to fall into place. While
spending a few years in a foreign land, the beauty of learning new
things, visiting wonderful places, making lots of friends and gaining
invaluable experiences makes it all worthwhile.
After all, there
are always two sides of the coin — ups and downs, peaks and valleys. At
the end of the day, life is about making choices and living with the
consequences. Like they say, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to
pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
To all Indonesian diplomats and their families, hold your heads up high.
A
speedy recovery to Ambassador Burhan Muhammad and deep condolences to
the whole family. To Mme. Listyawati, may your soul rest forever in
peace.
________________________
The writer is spouse of
Charles F. Hutapea, previously assigned to the Indonesian Embassy in
Paris (2009-2013) and the Indonesian Consulate General in Osaka
(2002-2006). Her memoir Voila La France
was published in April 2015 as well as Paris – C’est Ma Vie
in December 2012
- See more at: http://m.thejakartapost.com/news/2015/05/13/accompanying-our-diplomats.html#sthash.28DP66QU.edLxKQZQ.dpuf
A
helicopter crash on Friday, May 8 in a mountainous area of Pakistan
tragically killed six passengers, including two ambassadors and two
ambassadors’ wives. One of them was Mme. Heri Listyawati Burhan, the
spouse of Indonesian Ambassador to Pakistan Burhan Muhammad.
Some may say that this terrible accident could have happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
Nevertheless, the members of diplomatic missions assigned to so-called hardship posts are more likely to deal with such risks.
Only
a few weeks ago our embassy in Yemen was badly damaged by an air strike
injuring two diplomats, other Indonesian citizens and Yemenis.
In
fact, such a threat can happen even in countries that seem far from
being tagged “hardship”. In a period of less than 10 years (2004 and
2012), there were two bomb explosions at Indonesian Embassy in Paris.
The second one took place while we were living there due to my husband’s posting.
Fortunately nobody was seriously injured, but the material losses were quite large and it was certainly a traumatic experience.
An
insightful article titled Appreciating Our Diplomats was written by Mr.
Wirya Adiwena (The Jakarta Post, May 2, 2015) expressing his concerns
on the reality and sad side of diplomats’ work.
As mentioned in
the article, too often this seemingly prestigious profession is
ironically regarded as implying merely “the image of glamour and
champagne”.
In my own experience, people do frequently utter
their presumption of how nice and comfortable it must be to live abroad,
as if comparing it to a long holiday. This stereotype is definitely
misleading and far from reality.
Working as a diplomat, which
means representing your country, is surely not a light responsibility to
bear. Apart from the danger in hardship posts, there exist other
obstacles that may not be lethal yet are quite significant.
I
would like to share these common challenges facing diplomats’ families,
based on personal observation and experience when accompanying my
husband in his two previous postings.
Normally when posted to a
foreign mission, a diplomat is accompanied by his or her family. The
roles of family members are neither insignificant nor limited to
supporting capacities.
Actually, on various occasions diplomats’
family members should act as “diplomats” themselves. Diplomats’ spouses
are required to readily assist in the activities of the mission, from
culinary and cultural diplomacy to national day celebrations.
On
the other hand, they are not allowed to work professionally during the
posting period. Some families must decide whether to live separately or
to sacrifice the career of the spouse.
Diplomats’ children are
also an important part of the equation. Facing different environments
and constantly adapting both in the foreign and home country makes them
the most risk-prone. New homes, schools, friends and languages are
normal things. Once they are about to settle in a place, it is already
time to move and start from scratch again.
Constantly changing
early life stages shapes them to be “third culture kids” (TCK) —
children with the unique experience of moving between cultures before
fully developing their personal and cultural identity.
These
so-called global nomads or cultural chameleons are exposed to typical
experiences, both good and bad. The primary benefits are perhaps their
multilingual skills and the ability to adapt well to new environments,
an expanded world view resulting broader perspectives, as well as higher
sensitivity and empathy.
The main challenges include the ongoing
switch of schools, hence friends. While this constant change can be
beneficial, it is at the same time a potential threat, for each child
has a different level of ability to adjust. Some can survive, some
others sadly cannot.
Furthermore, being in foreign countries
puts them among different sets of cultural values that sometimes can be
conflicting. They are obliged to hold on to their home culture while at
the same time adjusting to local customs.
At the family level,
the unceasing moving process itself is never a piece of cake. Packing,
unpacking, leaving and finding home, changing schools, learning new
languages, meeting new neighbors, driving on the other side of the road,
adjusting to new cultures and so on.
However, difficulties are
well paid off once things finally start to fall into place. While
spending a few years in a foreign land, the beauty of learning new
things, visiting wonderful places, making lots of friends and gaining
invaluable experiences makes it all worthwhile.
After all, there
are always two sides of the coin — ups and downs, peaks and valleys. At
the end of the day, life is about making choices and living with the
consequences. Like they say, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to
pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
To all Indonesian diplomats and their families, hold your heads up high.
A
speedy recovery to Ambassador Burhan Muhammad and deep condolences to
the whole family. To Mme. Listyawati, may your soul rest forever in
peace.
________________________
The writer is spouse of
Charles F. Hutapea, previously assigned to the Indonesian Embassy in
Paris (2009-2013) and the Indonesian Consulate General in Osaka
(2002-2006). Her memoir Voila La France
was published in April 2015 as well as Paris – C’est Ma Vie
in December 2012
- See more at: http://m.thejakartapost.com/news/2015/05/13/accompanying-our-diplomats.html#sthash.28DP66QU.edLxKQZQ.dpuf
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