Kesuksesan Tim

Dari sekian banyak organisasi dan kepanitiaan yang kamu ikuti, dari mana kamu tau atau merasa bahwa organisasi/kepanitiaan tersebut sukses? Bukan acaranya loh, tapi timnya. Yang dibahas disini organisasi/kepanitiaan non-profit. Jadi jelas, kita ngga bisa bicara tentang berhasilnya tim tersebut mendapatkan keuntungan sekian atau project bernilai sekian rupiah/dollar. Jadi kita harus punya cara evaluasi yang lain, dan setiap orang pasti punya versinya masing-masing. Menurutku ada 2 cara. Yang pertama, seberapa dekat orang-orang didalamnya setelah kepengurusan/acara tersebut dan yang kedua, seberapa besar/lama euphoria setelah kepengurusan/acara tersebut.

One thing for sure, there is no such thing as 'perfect' - let alone a 'perfect team'. Pastinya banyak tantangan-tantangan yang dihadapi dan setiap kepemimpinan punya style yang berbeda-beda. That is to say, each team is unique and non-comparable. Jadi walaupun disini aku membahas cara mengukur kesuksesan tim, hasil akhirnya itu bukan seberapa sukses, tapi hanya dua jawaban: sukses atau biasa aja. Menurutku, semua tim itu pasti berhasil melaksanakan kewajiban dan amanahnya, jadi at least mereka mencapai pada level standard, yaitu 'biasa aja'.

I'd like to believe that the success of a team relies on their teamwork. Kerja tim membutuhkan banyak komunikasi, pengertian, dan kesabaran. Komunikasi mungkin bisa hampir tiap hari/minggu, melaporkan, mendelegasikan, koordinasi, memastikan, dsb. Dengan intensitas yang sesering ini, pertemanan akan terjalin dengan sendirinya. Tiap orang di tim punya beban kerja nya masing-masing, not to mention, kesibukan lainnya, yang kadang tidak bisa dibayangkan. Disini tiap orang diharuskan untuk saling mengerti dan percaya bahwa mereka akan mengerjakan bagian kerjanya. Walaupun awalnya dipaksa untuk percaya, tapi perlahan kepercayaan itu nyata dan tumbuh dengan sendirinya dan semakin lama semakin kuat. Tiap orang di tim juga perlu bersabar dengan mengesampingkan ego pribadi dan memperjuangkan kepentingan bersama. Mereka belajar untuk menekan emosi dan berfikir hal-hal yang lebih penting. 

Dengan komunikasi yang intensif, kepercayaan yang perlahan tumbuh dan terbiasanya mengendalikan emosi, akan sulit untuk menghindari ikatan pertemanan yang dekat. Tapi kalau beberapa orang didalamnya ngga bisa berkomunikasi secara efektif, saling mengerti atau mengendalikan emosi, mereka ngga akan bisa kerja secara nyaman. Mungkin iya, mereka berhasil melaksanakan kewajibannya, seperti yang aku bilang diawal, tapi tidak akan adanya pertemanan dekat. 

Jadi, kalau setelah kepengurusan/acara mereka tetap atau semakin dekat, berarti bisa dipastikan mereka bisa dengan sukses kerja dalam tim, yang berarti organisasi/kepanitiaan tersebut sukses. Tapi apabila setelah kepengurusan/acara mereka malah ngga saling sapa atau jadi dingin, berarti mereka ngga bisa kerja bersama dalam tim, yang berarti organisasi/kepanitiaan tersebut mencapai standard 'biasa aja'.

Selain itu, bisa dilihat juga dari euphoria setelah kepengurusan/acara. Seberapa lama/besar euphoria yang mereka rasakan. Semakin lama/besar euphoria tersebut, semakin besar rasa saling memiliki dan pastinya semakin besar rasa kepercayaan yang ada diantara mereka. Seperti yang aku sebutkan diatas, kepercayaan menjadi salah satu dasar dari suksesnya kerja tim. Jadi kalau ada organisasi/kepanitiaan yang merasakan kebahagiaan euphoria yang cukup lama - ini relatif, tapi menurutku lebih dari 2 hari termasuk yang lama - berarti kerja timnya dan organisasi/kepanitiaan tersebut sukses. Kalau euphoria-nya lebih sebentar dari itu, berarti kerja timnya dan organisasi/kepanitiaan tersebut biasa aja.

Sekian.

Just my two cents.

I'm halfway there

As a doctorate student, we need to pass qualifying exams. It differ across faculty and campus. Some require us to pass specific subject, written/oral exams and/or present our research, within two years or one year. It's all solely department/faculty regulation that we can't questioned or compare it with other department. After we pass the exams, we are no longer a doctorate student, but a doctorate candidate.

In my department, they require us to either pass two subject of written exams or get a paper accepted within two years. As suggested by my advisor, my target in the beginning was, try to get my paper published, she said it's a lot easier. But it takes a lot of time to finish it and to get through the peer-review process. 

It was right after I send out the first revise and 6 more months until my two years deadline is ended, that I started to think to take the exams. Since I feel like there will still be some revising, I'm not that confident that my paper will get accepted in the next 6 months, so I took the exams for precautions. The department offer the exams in each semester. If I could not pass the exams, I need to take it again in the next semester. But if my first two years end, I need to take leave until I pass the exams. Sounds complicated, huh?

Wait 'til you hear this. There are many rumors out there that the exams are super-very-hard to pass. One of Taiwanese senior that I knew, she pass all two subjects for 5 years! and one of Indonesian senior didn't pas the exams once, but he got the paper published. I feel so anxious yet curious of this horrifying exams. The exams were in essay and the material were: 16 papers and 16-chapters-book! The questions were something detail about the paper, such as the inference of their research or the detail of their questionnaire design. And each paper may have 2-7 different studies with different questionnaire design and inference! No wonder it's so hard to pass, then I thought.

Since I only got this one chance and only one month to prepare, I studied and prayed hard. I tossed away any unimportant and unrelated things. I tried to study in every time I've got. I even brought those papers and book to Indonesia during my winter holiday.

The exams were divided into two days. One subject in one day and each subjects have two sections. There were about 3-4 questions in each section. The questions were a bit blur, but I remember, I wrote one full page of A4 for each questions. I remember there were questions about the detail of questionnaire design and inference. And I remember I felt like my brain were drained out at the end of the test of each day.

I waited for quite a long time for the results, without knowing when exactly they will tell us. They just tell me that they will send an email to announce the result. So every time I opened my mail, I feel that tingling in my stomach. I felt more anxious than before the exams. 

After that 6 weeks long, I finally got an email to pick up my result in department office. Oh, only God knows how nervous I was walking down the road, hoped on to the bus, up to the office and picked up my result. I was so curious with my result that I couldn't wait to open it, but too afraid that I needed a private place in case it wasn't a good news. 

After a long debate with myself, I finally opened it while waiting for a ride home. Alhamdulillah I PASS! Both of it! The threshold was 70 and I got 82 and 89! I didn't expect it to be this high. Even though I was hoping to pass, I predict that maybe I'll get about 71 or 72, something that is slightly above the threshold. It really amaze me that I can't believe it's real. I can't even told anyone other than my family, until I go to the department office and I hear it from my advisor.

The next day, my advisor and my labmates congratulated me. My advisor told me that the department praise the results of my exams. She said that it's very rare that a student can pass two subjects in one time. She even said that maybe this is the first international student that pass two subjects at once. Yeay! Alhamdulillah.

I feel like suddenly I'm free and have nothing to worried about. Hahaha. Of course this isn't the case. I still have halfway to go - even more, maybe? I still have one/two paper(s) to get published, one dissertation and one oral defense. Anyone care to join? Haha

During the waited period, I promised to do three day fasting if I pass the exams. And today I finished the fasting. Out of my expectation, I feel so.. - can't really describe it. It's something a mixture of relax, happy, good mood and worry-less. It feel so good. I think it's even better than when I found out that I pass the exam. 

Alhamdulillah.

So here I am,

Anisa Larasati, PhD Candidate :)

Berkah Ramadhan :)

Selama ini aku hanya terfokus pada diriku saja. Aku, aku dan aku..

Aku selalu mikir betapa lambatnya aku mengerjakan riset, susahnya aku memikirkan metode-metode yang lain dan stressnya aku memikirkan cara untuk mengembangkan topik risetku ini. Dan ngga jarang aku merasa bahwa kapasitas otakku itu udah mentok dan sepertinya yang lain jauh lebih pinter dibandingkanku.

Yang paling bikin nge-down itu ngeliat 2 anak lab, master degree: yang satu dia ngambil salah satu topikku dan digabungkan dgn topik yang lain dan dia bisa punya 4 studies, nilai thesisnya paling bagus, masuk thesis competition dan pastinya Prof bangga sekali dengannya. Yang satunya lagi ngikutin salah satu metode-ku, dan lagi-lagi dia bisa punya 4 studies, nilainya bagus, anak kesayangan Prof, masuk thesis competition juga.

Dan aku? dari dulu 3 studies aja ngga selesai-selesai.. Walaupun emang beda tujuan dan jalan cerita kita, tapi ini terlihat amat sangat kontras.. Sedangkan waktu untuk submit paper udah di ambang pintu..  yup, the pressure is so-very huge..

Ketika underpressure, berkali-kali terlintas untuk mundur, take a break, or daydreaming hoping it's over soon. Setelah itu teringat alasanku untuk S3 dan perlahan-lahan bangkit. Orang tua-lah yang terus menyemangatiku untuk terus maju tanpa stress dan mengingatkanku untuk perbanyak Dzikir. Mungkin karena ngeliat aku begitu stressnya, mereka bilang "yaudah nis, ini iseng-iseng berhadiah, jangan dibawa stress yaa". And yeah, somehow it works :)

Beberapa minggu setelahnya, Ramadhan datang. Mulai shalat tharawih + witir dan lebih banyak baca Al-Quran + Dzikir.

Sesaat setelah itu ada beberapa yang aku rasakan dan dapatkan.. Mungkin ini berkah Ramadhan.. Alhamdulillah:

1. Hatiku lebih tenang dan bisa mengerjakan riset tanpa stress. Somehow I found the way to cope with it.

2. Nilai progress report selama ini ternyata dikasih nilai A sama Prof.. Selama 3 semester kemarin dapet A-, dan padahal sekarang ngga berharap banyak, mikirnya paling dapet nilai yang sama juga.. Tapi lalu aku mikir, mungkin A ini bisa jadi salah satu pemacu untuk menyelesaikan paperku yang artinya mungkin "you're good enough, you've been through long enough, finish it, don't give up"

3. Kuesioner boleh disebar, yang artinya setelah kuesioner ini tinggal merevisi penulisan dan it's ready! Aamiin..

4. This is the most shocking thing that happened.

Beberapa temanku mulai bilang kalau mereka ingin sekali nerusin kuliah sampai S3, tapi kondisi yang tidak memungkinkan: perlu cari uang, perlu menghidupkan keluarga, sudah ada anak, perlu nerusin bisnis keluarga, tidak dapat beasiswa, dll..

Aku tersentak. Aku ngga sadar bahwa banyak sekali orang diluar sana yang menginginkan ini, tapi belum bisa. Aku yang ... belum perlu cari uang, masih ada orang tua yang bekerja, belum berkeluarga, belum ada anak, tidak ada bisnis/kegiatan lain, dan dapat beasiswa full ... kenapa ngga bisa memanfaatkan kesempatan ini dengan sebaik-baiknya?
 

Ini membuat aku bersyukur tiada henti. Membuatku semangat mengerjakan risetku.
Aku mau memanfaatkan kesempatan langka ini - yang mungkin tidak akan datang kepadaku lagi.

There's no such thing as second chance, right?

So do it wholeheartedly and never take things for granted ;)

All and all, ternyata bukan aku, risetku atau Profku yang salah. Tapi ibadahku-lah yang kurang.

The truth

I'm a big fan of 'asking'. If you don't know, ask. If you're not sure, ask. If you're curious ask.

Things are so much easier when we all be honest and transparent to each other.

Not knowing makes us assuming and in some cases, even overthinking.

We can't assume on everything, unless we assume in every possible condition. And we shouldn't overthink, 'cause usually things are not as complicated as we thought.

On the other hand, most of the time we can't answer some questions. The answer would be 'I don't know why', 'I just did it', 'I just knew', 'I felt like it', 'I don't realize when', etc. People may or may not say the truth for some reasons.

If you asked and got an answer like that, try to look at their attitude and their eyes.

People can say anything, but eyes can't lie. 

It's a biology reaction that our pupils will get bigger/dilated when we are excited and smaller/constricted when we are upset. Evenmore, eyes can tell you more than anything. Two peoples can communicate only by looking at their eyes. There are also other reflects that we can observed from people, such as eyes & hands movement. 

People can fake to behave in certain ways, but their attitude remain unchanged. 

Behavior can only stay in a short term while attitude stay forever. Attitude is something that they have inside them. Some values and belief that they carry on. You will know why and how people make decision based on their attitude. Attitude can be discovered by analyzing their background information or work with them.

So, just observed! I'm sure the answer is there, but you're not aware of that.
If you care enough about the answer, take a second to look. People can't hide it all the time :)

Kuesioner

Aku liat temenku ngeluh karena ngisi kuesioner lagi. Sedih ngeliatnya.

Karena bagi jurusan social science, kuesioner itu amat sangat berharga. Tapi jurusan lain kebanyakan ngga melihat value kuesioner tsb.

Oleh karena itu aku nge-post ini. Berharap teman2 di jurusan non-social science bisa menghargai kuesioner dan mengisinya dengan sepenuh hati.

1. FYI, untuk satu published journal paper di bidang social science khususnya di bidang consumer behavior dan marketing, mereka punya sekitar 3-7 studies. 

Studies itu berbagai macam teknik atau cara dalam menyelesaikan 1 topik. Misal: papernya ttg kepuasan pekerja. Study 1 aku mau liat kepuasan pekerja setelah gaji naik, study 2 aku mau liat kepuasan pekerja setelah gaji naik, tetapi tergantung dgn berapa pengeluaran dia sebulan, dan seterusnya. Kita dituntut utk melakukan modifikasi yang masih didalam satu topik agar satu paper punya kontribusi yang banyak.

2. Satu study harus buat satu kuesioner.

Dalam satu study, minimal ada 2 faktor (Independent dan Moderator/Mediation), 1 faktor minimal ada 2 level. Satu level, minimal harus ada 30 responden. Jadi, kalo 1 study ada 2 faktor = 4 level = 4x30 = 120 responden. Itu baru SATU study. Sedangkan, idealnya dalam 1 paper, respondennya ngga boleh dobel. Jadi klo 1 paper ada 3 study, dgn asumsi jumlah faktornya sama, dibutuhkan 3x120 = 360 responden yang BERBEDA.

3. Pre-test

Sebelum sebar kuesioner yang sebenarnya, kita butuh pre-test untuk menentukan item-item yang akan digunakan dalam kuesioner. Jumlah respondennya cenderung lebih sedikit (minimal 30-40 responden), tetapi, kita harus mencari responden yang BERBEDA juga.

Udah kebayang belum, betapa susahnya mahasiswa jurusan social science mencari responden utk kuesionernya?

Untuk jurusan lain, kalian butuh program atau bahan-bahan yang harus diuji. Semua itu benda mati yang bisa kalian uji coba kapan saja. Ngga ada perasaan jadi ngga rewel dan kalian ngga usah merasa sungkan karena mengganggu waktunya.

Nah untuk social science, kita butuh manusia untuk diuji coba. Manusia dengan segala ke-kompleks-annya.

4. Kalo gagal?

Anak social science bikin ulang kuesioner, sebar pretest lagi, sebar kuesioner lagi (yang pastinya orangnya beda lagi).

Kita tau kok, banyak yang malas utk isi kuesioner. Aku pun bingung nyari responden. Aku butuh banyak responden, karena syaratku utk lulus itu harus 2 papers, dengan 4 studies tiap papernya. Jadi butuh berapa responden? simply, banyak.

Hampir semua keluhan mahasiswa yang research di social science itu: "Aku harus nyebar ke siapa/mana lagi?"

Kuesioner ini susah. Bikinnya aja udah susah, jadi tolong at least hargai sedikit kerja keras kami dengan tidak mengeluh. Kalau memang ngga ada waktu dan ngga mau, yaa gpp. Asal jangan mengeluh seolah-olah kami ngga ada kerjaan lain selain mengganggu kalian dengan deretan pertanyaan.

Terimakasih.

Sincerly,

Mahasiswa Social Science Research

New Environment

There are times that I'm bored reading tons of papers in my room, or even in my home. Moreover, I'm kinda addicted to internet. Although there's nothing important to browse, I still hang around wasting my time. And in the end of the day, I feel regret cause I couldn't finish my work.

Then I get out from my home, my comfort zone and from unlimited-fast speed internet, to find a place to read papers and write my work. I found Starbucks nearby with small bathroom inside. Ordered a cup of green tea latte with cinnamon, sat near the corner and start reading. I stayed there for about 3 hours, had my lunch, read paper and finish my work. Yeay! I feel proud of myself. I feel so delighted. And it feels really nice to get my work done. How could I procrastinate my work for all this time? Since then, I'm able to encourage myself more to work :)

In the next week, I went into another Starbucks store, it's one and a half block from the first one and it's a part of a mall. It was a fine chill afternoon, so I decided to try to work outdoor! The weather was really nice. But after two hours, I felt my hands were freezing, needed to pee -the toilet was kinda far and I didn't feel like leaving my stuffs outdoor- and there were a lot of cigarette smoke - oh tell me about it. So I went inside the mall and continue it in the foodcourt, instead.

These two times of working outside were really fun! Refreshed my mind and I can finish my work without an interruption from the internet! LOL

So if you find it hard to concentrate, maybe you can try to find a new place to finish your work.

Good luck! :)

Change!

I'm reading papers for my thesis and bored with my room. So I go out of the room and sit beside the window. The sound of a rain and a cool wind breeze throughout the room calms my mind. I feel refresh and ready to continue reading bunch of papers.

Go and change something! 

Just to feel new again and to feel the positive energy come rushing into you. 

Life's tests

Do you know that life will give you a test that will gets harder and harder along the way?

When you had accomplished one test, you will be able to handle it in case it comes back. So the second time the test comes back, it is not a test for you anymore. Because it's easy for you to get through it. A test is when you find it hard to stand up and sometimes you may feel like giving up.

So, eventually you will get a harder test, which means, you're 'UP' one level. You'll realized that the test is so hard which somewhat impossible to be existed, but it did. And it's there for you to solve it. If you think that it's so hard, take a minute to look back in the past. Recall everything you've been through. Then you'll realized that you've been through a lot, which proves that you're strong enough to handle another test.

And yes, now I'm in the middle of a hard test. I have to step back from something and someone I like, when 'that things' are keep on coming at me. This will not be hard when I don't like it, so it's easy for me to step back. Or even when I like it, but it doesn't like me back, it's also easy to look forward and forget about it. 

But now, when I want to look away, it always coming back at me, makes me weak and holding me from stepping back. I know I need to be strong to fight with my own feelings, which is not easy at all. I am trying to always keep my faith, be patient and pray :). Hopefully I can hang on until it's done.

'Things will be perfect at a perfect time'

Ever heard that notion? or not exactly like that but has the same meaning. I guess everybody ever heard it before. This words - or you can call it quotes - are used to motivate people when bad things are happening to them. It gives them the strength to let go and wish that there are something better for them in the near future.

I don't know if it works, but sometimes it does works for me. It makes me stop worrying and keep positive about what's happening. And actually here, I want to share that, this quote is really true.

It started when I was in my last year of primary school. I wish two things about how my junior high school life would be: part of an organization, and/or part of a dance club. Well, things turned out differently. There are no dance club and I didn't have a chance to be in an organization, because the teacher should recommend you to get in the organization. So then I let go of my dream and pass it for the senior high school. I wasn't mad, I enjoyed myself learning until I got top position in class.

In senior high school, I moved to Hong Kong. So instead of join any extracurricular activities, I learn my ass off to adapt and graduate in one and a half year. Again, I pass my dream to college.

I was putting a high expectation into college life. Since I'm back into my home town, so no adaption needed and college students are mature enough to make decision about organization. So I expected to have a high chance of making a dream come true. But life does not always giving what you want. The selection to be in an organization is that you need to join a-3-days-2 nights-outside-the-campus- camp. Since in Indonesia is not that safe, I'm a girl and there are no teacher supervising the camp, I'm not allowed to go, which means I'm not be able to join the organization. The same thing happens for the dance club. Life's bitter, I know. And I was thinking that life's not fair. I was kinda mad and blaming the situation, because I was thinking that college is my last chance to make it all happen.

Life is unpredictable, I would say. My plans for getting my master degree was changed, from getting it in Jakarta to Taipei. And surprisingly, in the place where I study now (NTUST) has lots and lots of Indonesian people, which makes it possible to form an Indonesian Student Association (ISA). There's no specific requirement to be a member, so I join it directly, without hesitation. Another blessing is that I was offered to dance Saman. And there are a lot of performing, which I - of course - really enjoyed it.

Now, in my second year, I'm a secretary in NTUST-ISA, a legislative board of ISA in Taiwan and a coordinator of Saman dance club. There goes my dream come true. I'll never imagine any other possible situation that is better that this. I really thank God for all these opportunities and I won't take any of these for granted.

See? It's really happening. As long as you keep trying and not wasting any chances you've got, things will be really perfect at a perfect time.

Indonesian Culture Exhibition 2012

Last 2-3 weeks, me and other Indonesian friends in NTUST (National Taiwan University of Science and Technology) was so busy preparing this event. It is all about Indonesian culture. We want others to know more about Indonesia and we might even attract tourists to go to Indonesia. For committee, this is the way we can get together as a team to do something nice for our country, to appreciate and remind us how beautiful our culture is. This event was held on 5-7 March 2012.

On the first and the second day (5th - 6th March), we were having an Exhibition. We have 8 booths which represents 6 biggest islands in Indonesia (Sumatra, Kalimatan, Jawa, Bali, Sulawesi and Papua), Edutainment and Culinary. In each island booth, visitors are given the brief information about that island - the traditional clothes and music - and each island has their own unique interactive way. In Edutainment, visitors can take a picture with traditional Indonesian costume, play traditional games, learn how to make "batik" and how to make "ketupat". In Culinary stand, we have lots of Indonesian foods and snacks, such as: "soto", "nasi kuning", "wajik" and others.

On the third day (7th March), in evening, we were having a cultural performance. We gave the audience a story about "The Journey of Gadjah Mada to Unify Nusantara" which we put traditional dances (Jathilan Dance, Saman Dance, Papua Dance, Kecak Dance, Janger Dance and Kayau Dance), choir and "pencak silat" inside the story and in the end, we have a modern dance.

What makes this ICE 2012 different from previous ICE? We have our own theme song originally written by our friend! How nice! I'm really proud of her. The song called "We are Proud Student of Indonesia".

After the performance, we were beyond happy to receive many great compliments, such as: outstanding performance, best performance ever and I'm proud of you guys.
We were really doing a great job. And yes, our 5 months preparation was finally paid off. We were all satisfied, the committee, the performer and the audience. Even though we were far beyond perfect, but we did our best and we reach our target of more than a thousands visitors!

We were really making it happen. We did it! I'm so proud being a part of ICE 2012 team! I'm proud to be Indonesian that has many beautiful and unique culture inside.

'nightmare'

Last night, the whole class felt like they were being 'slapped', somehow by our Professor of Turbulence Management. There are 2 Professor that teaches us for that course and last night, it was the-not-so-favorite one turn to teach. He was supposed to evaluate our mid-term assignment briefly and continue to teach the next lesson. But instead, he took the whole 3 hours class only to evaluate our assignment! What he did was ask the best 3 groups and 1 additional group to present their mid-term assignment and then he tell us how is the best report looks like and how does it correlate to a suit? at this point, I was like.. 'What? what does it had to do with Turbulence?' Well then, I just keep it for myself and trying to survive in that class with no interest at all. Until the end of the class, he still says something about our assignment. So then some of us discussed about what is actually his purpose. His assistant told us that some of our assignment is not focus enough. We just explain and answer it briefly, not to the point.

Well, this is the case. The instruction for our assignment is not clear enough. There's no border line for the assignment. When someone asked him, 'what should we write? should we write about this or this?' then he answered, 'you can write anything you like, anything. Use your creativity'. So then we write according to our group interpretation of the question. We analyze all different aspects. Not so detailed, but clear enough that we put all the possible aspects. Frankly, what he wanted is we have to specify and analyze about just one aspects. But he never told us.

I know, we are an MBA student, so he expect us to think in a business oriented, which is focus to analyze just one aspects. But most of us is in their first year, even first semester. Our mindset hasn't build yet. We still need a direction. It's okay if he doesn't want to teach in detail, but at least, he gives it for assignment, so that he can get what he wants.

I was shocked that it bothers me a lot! I didn't experience this kind of things in other classes. It's because they do give a clear instruction of what they want. Well, yes, people are different. But for this one, this is the basic rule in our live. 'If you want something, say it clear', right? Hello, we are not a mind-reader. Do not expect us to know what you want. We all have a different perception, moreover we have a different background and nationality, which makes our perception diverse even larger.

A good lesson in this case are: (1) "Say clearly what you want. Repeat if necessary" (2) "Ask everything that you don't know, in detail".
I hope that there will be no more miscommunication and I hope I can still fix my mistake and get a good grade. Amin :)

tear drops..

i cried a lot these days! even too much!
there are so many sad things happened.
1. on monday, my very rare questionare which i only got 3 - are missing! dont kno where it went. i've been circling around searching it, even until 3 times..but nothing.

2. on wednesday, my lovely iPod is gone! eventho its not that expansive, but i had it for like 4 years and its been like a part of me. And i just felt so stupid and dissapointed to myself because i cant protect my valuable things.
at the same time, my mom's granma die :(. which caused my granma go to her hometown. and who's left? only me and my lil brother. i dont have anyone to turn to. i got so lovely friends, but for this kinda thing, my parents always have their best way to calm me down. and not even one of them are here.

3. on thursday, my data for thesis are not valid and reliable! this is the second time i tried it. The first one is not valid because the range of the scale, i guess. So i changed it into a 5 likert scale, and guess what? same result! i just cant hold my tears this time. im just so scared that i couldnt find a way out, and become a failure. i do not want it to happen, but i really dont have any clue to solve it. i just hope something or someone that really good could help me to get through all this.

these are all happened in one week. these are too much for me. i could barely handle it. i feel like giving up, somehow..but the good thing is, the other part of me wouldnt let it happen. im clueless. im lost. dont kno where to go. i felt lonely.

oh God, my dear lovely and helpful God, please please help me to find a way out, to get through all this, to finish my thesis and to make my parents proud. Amiin :)